OrensteinSolutions

Most of us have moments throughout our day that leave us feeling tense, overwhelmed and angry. Is it wrong to feel angry about other drivers getting in our way, children refusing to follow house rules or co-workers not following through on projects?

Read this most recent article from Dr. Julia Messer, published in Cary Magazine.

Read “Focus On Men Anger Management” in PDF form.

We are all familiar with the experience of excitedly setting New Years Resolutions only to be disappointed when they don’t come true. Many of us avoid feelings of dejection by stopping resolutions altogether. A better way is to make sure you have the skills you need to attain your goals this year.  Mastering resolutions is really a skill set derived from goal-setting skills.  We can look to the experts on how to set goals effectively. Here is some information gleaned from years of studying the experts and helping people set goals:

1)  Convert wishes, hopes and dreams into defined, specific, attainable goals.

2)  Make sure to put your goals down in writing,  using concrete, realistic language. Several studies have found that those who take the time to write down their goals greatly increase their chances of success.  So seriously get out a pen and paper and start writing.

3)  Create a recipe for success.  This recipe is an action plan.  Make sure the action plan involves small, specific, concrete steps.  Write down steps like you might if you were writing down a recipe or giving yourself an instruction manual.  The more detailed, specific steps you have, the better you’ll be able to get and stay on track.

4)  Practice resiliency by preparing for setbacks.  Recognize that change often occurs with two steps forward and one step backward.  Ask yourself what can I learn from that setback so that I’ll be less likely to do that again?  Then pick yourself up and keep moving.

5)  Reward yourself along the way.  Notice any sign of progress and give yourself credit for small steps as they occur.

Our psychologists at Orenstein Solutions would like to be a resource for you to help you reach your goals.  Using a collaborative approach, we help you turn your dreams into concrete, practical goals by helping you explore your values, priorities, feelings, and needs.  Then we work with you to develop an action plan, with concrete steps along the way, so that we can identify progress and setbacks, and make revisions as necessary.  We will also coach you so you’ll have the necessary information, mindset and skills you need for success.

Some examples of our clients’ goals:

• develop a diet and exercise plan to lose weight and lower cholesterol
• become more organized and focused at work
• improve one’s social life and begin dating
• increase warmth and trust in one’s marriage; have more fun and intimacy together
• reduce anger outbursts and feelings of resentment
• improve parenting skills in order to better manage children’s behavior

Call (919) 428-2766 to schedule an appointment and begin attaining your goals. Maybe next new year, instead of writing down your resolution, you will be living it.

Dr. Orenstein was quoted on Carolina Parent’s blog and the blog post appeared on WRAL’s blog as well.

Here is an excerpt from the article

If you’re thinking that intimacy with your spouse is a luxury that’s detracting from time with the kids, think again. It’s part of the cement that holds your marriage together. In Nurturing Your Relationship, local psychologist Susan Orenstein, Ph.D., says having an intimate relationship is a gift that parents can give their offspring.

“It is important for the intimacy of the couple to be healthy, not only for the sake of the marriage, but also for the children,” she says, adding, “The parents need to model a good relationship to instruct the children, and also need to be a team separated from and in charge of the children.” In that article, Triangle parents also offer their time-proven tips for strengthening marital relationships, such as giving your spouse a compliment during everyday interaction. After all, who doesn’t like to feel appreciated?

Here are links to both places

Carolina Parent’s Blog: http://carolinaparent.com/blogs/blogs.php?domain=&category_id=6
WRAL’s: http://www.wral.com/lifestyles/family/blogpost/5689328/

by Robin Whitsell, Carolina Parent Magazine.
How to stand your ground when enforcing difficult decisions. Dr. Abra Nardo is interviewed for this article.

Read Article (.pdf)

by Kate Turgeon, Pinehurst Magazine.
Empty nest syndrome and how it affects your marriage. Dr. Orenstein comments on the life changes associated with children leaving the home.

Read Article (.pdf)

In an interview with Sheryl L. Grant, Carolina Parent Staff Writer, Dr. Orenstein addresses some of the common concerns and pitfalls that college-bound students face.

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It’s your senior year and you’ve finally completed the grueling college application process. Your guidance counselor and well-meaning friends and family tell you to Sit Back and Relax because your fate and happiness now rests in the hands of college admission officers. . . NOT!

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College students today are undergoing overwhelming stress, most marked during their first year away from home. Recent statistics show that thirty percent of students drop out their first year. Learn ways to help your son or daughter ease this transition to college life while maintaining strong family ties.

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Families with returning college students are undergoing a dramatic change of routine and readjustment during this season. Develop realistic expectations for yourself as a parent and for your college students while also minimizing conflicts during this the holiday season.

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College students are faced with the task of independently managing their lives as they struggle to balance academic and social demands, with part-time jobs, team sports, tv and video games and extracurricular activities. Those diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) can experience even greater challenges as organizational and time management skills become essential tools for survival. Learn more about these daily demands and how you can help your college student prepare for their college experience.

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