OrensteinSolutions

I’d like to invite you to my next PAIRS workshop which  will take place on Saturday, February 27th.  I’ve been providing couples therapy in private practice since 1998.  Here’s a confession–I didn’t learn about couples in my graduate program.  Very few graduate programs have courses specifically in marital or couples therapy.  So I’ve sought out all the advanced training i could find to learn about couples.  I’ve received extensive training in Conflict Resoultion and Family Mediation, as well as advanced training to follow the research and approaches of Jon Gottman, Susan Johnson, Michele Weiner Davis, and Dan Wile.

I’ve wanted to provide couples workshops for several years now, but never was able to get them off the ground.  That is, until now, since I’ve discovered the PAIRS program.  I was delighted to find the PAIRS materials not only fits with the current research about what makes couples happy together, but also has user-friendly materials that couples can  integrate into their relationships to promote warmth, respect, and understanding.  So, I’ve had useful concepts all along, but now I’ve found the missing piece in PAIRS, which is a format (materials and tools) to make the information come alive.

I began offering these PAIRS workshops last Fall, after many couples contacted me asking for week-end sessions, telling me how difficult it was for both partners to have time for couples therapy on a weekly outpatient basis.  Also, many told me they were concerned about the financial aspect of ongoing couples work. I added this program to help couples learn skills and tools in a convenient, cost-effective manner.

I’ll give away one tool right now to give you a flavor of the workshop: The Invitation Rule.  We all want to be greeted by our partner in a loving, warm, engaging way. Unfortunately, often when we are approached by our partner, especially about a conflict issue, the “approach” isn’t so warm and fuzzy.  Often, the conversation begins in a hostile manner which does not set the stage for a peaceful and happy resolution.

The PAIRS invitation rule is that you invite your partner before utilizing any of the PAIRS tools for discussions. You invite, not inflict.  As you know about invitations, one can always decline.  That’s the beauty of it. By asking, you do not take the other person for granted; you show respect for his or her time and feelings.  On the other side, your partner chooses to interact with you when he or she accepts your invitation. The invitation rule helps us from taking each other for granted.  We appreciate each time we choose to accept our partner’s invitation, and the invitation rule  starts things off in a spirit of good will, that promotes success.

I hope you’ll consider my invitation to attend PAIRs.  The invitation rule is one of many gems that you can integrate into your special relationships.  You can learn more about PAIRS and find registration material online at www.orensteinsolutions.com.  You’re also welcome to contact me directly at (919) 428-2766 ext. 1.