New Edition: Coping with Anger
The good news is that there are many strategies that Catherine can use to manage her anger, and there are skills that can be learned to help improve relationships and manage stress. Anger management groups, individual therapy, and couples therapy are available resources that can help individuals learn how to decrease physiological arousal and change emotional responses and self-talk. For example, Catherine can learn to notice signs of tension early and consciously relax neck and jaw muscles. She can begin to notice anger-provoking thoughts such as “This is too much!” and modify them to “I have a lot on my plate right now, but some things I cannot control. As much as I would like others to be reliable, it does not mean that they must.” Anger management skills also involve learning how to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively and include developing empathy skills, forgiving others, adjusting expectations, and taking effective time-outs when unable to think clearly.
Dealing with anger is an issue that each of us faces everyday. Managing anger is not about never feeling angry. It is about finding positive, effective ways to communicate and act so that you feel better and develop satisfying, healthy relationships. In the words of Dr. Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
